Less is More

I have opened this page a couple of times this week and sat staring at a blank page. I am struggling to write. Not sure why. I have so many writing tasks to do yet the page remains blank, stares back at me and my mind is empty. I cannot seem to find a single word to write. I have closed this page several times, then opened it hoping that the magic will happen and words will spill forth from my thoughts splashing onto the page filling the void with thoughts of worth and value. I can not seem to be coherent yet my mind is filled with the personal little things of the mundane. I cannot seem to get out of the daily routine of thoughts of triviality yet I function to meet the responsibilities of my day. As I write this I wonder what it is that has sent me to this place of routine. A rote list of daily tasks that need attending to. Its interesting how the little things manage to become the most time consuming chores when you are feeling as though you are moving around in a fog. Thats probably not a good description but basically it's just that I am having difficulty sitting down long enough at my desk to write and when I do I think of other things that I could be doing or I get side tracked and start researching other interests and not attending to the matter at hand and that is getting on with my thesis. Its not that I haven't written it, I have. The problem is I have to edit it and I am procrastinating.

I searched the internet to inspire me to get on with it, but alas I sit here sharing my inability to string a coherent thought together. It is a little frustrating yet I also find it interesting that I am in this position. Normally I would have just sat down and got on with it. Lately I have not been able to focus. What is on my mind you ask? Good question. Everything from work, to my children to my life in general. The only thing not on my mind is my thesis.

So having said that maybe I need to take a break from it and I shall come back to it with fresh eyes and new enthusiasm in a few weeks time. Who knows. What I do know is that I have taken deliberate steps to go to Uni on the weekend and spend hours working on it. I am hoping that the atmosphere of the University will create the thought processes that I need to get out of this slump of thoughtlessness that I currently exist in. 

I shall not complain for my life is running smoothly and I love my job. I am grateful for what I have, but I ask for universal intervention when I say 'please send me coherent, clear thoughts that meet the requirements of my thesis' in order for me to 'get on with it....sigh!

Less stress, life is good!

Olympic Highlights

Like everyone else I have been tuning in when convenient to watch the highlights of the Olympic Games. Generally I prefer to participate in sport rather than sit on the couch and watch it and the Olympic Games are no exception to my disinterest in watching sport. However this Olympics I actually got excited.

As usual with the Olympics I flick through the Swimming events and every now and then I flick the TV on to see when it will be over. Then I spied the Track and Field events which I love. My anxiety levels rose with the mens 100m heats because I came to the realisation that in between writing my thesis moving into my house and sorting out my life I was subconsciously keeping a close eye on the exploits of Usain Bolt. In fact the last time I watched someone run with such beauty was Carl Lewis (showing my age now) and Michael Johnson. Its not often that you get an athlete as outstanding as these guys and I love watching them run. So in my disinterest I watched the heats and then I watched the finals and I have to say it met my expectations. What a run. Totally awesome.

Thinking that I had experienced the great event of this years Olympics I turned the TV off. Today when I switched it on there was a replay of Sally Pearson's 100 metre hurdle run. The girl ran like a gazelle, so graceful and beautiful and perfectly executed. It was a pleasure to watch. 

I have to say I am not fully engaged in the Olympic mania, but I have had the pleasure of witnessing two memorable events that I probably won't forget in a hurry.

On that note I am going to run (probably not so gracefully) out the door and onto my treadmill to work off some unwanted middle age spread and dream of Olympic glory.

Life is good!

Unsettled

Recently we moved into our brand new house. Yes it is beautiful and fresh and smells like a newly laid wooden floor mixed with a bit of dog because the teenage son seems to not quite understand the term 'outside dog'. I have given up trying to teach the boy new tricks and I have to say the dog is a faster learner. However, my son loves his dog and the dog is in love with him. It's pretty sickening to be honest, but the whole affair is very cute and who am I to get between a man and his dog. When they use the term 'a dog is mans best friend' I would have to agree going on the empirical evidence witnessed in my home. The good news is that we are finally beginning to settle down.

I can't believe that I have a home. I have lived all over Western Australia throughout my adult life and I have not regretted any of it. All of the places that I have experienced with my children holds a special place in my heart and my memories are nothing but happy ones. However to finally settle down in one place and in such a beautiful home is a bit daunting for this little black chic from the bush.

When I first moved into this house I felt guilty. Yes folks I felt guilty. I felt guilty because I thought of all of my friends and family who are living a less successful life and maybe not living in such beauty as I am lucky to be experiencing today. It has taken me a while to get over this feeling and to allow myself to come to love my home. In fact it has been a bit of a learning experience. I feel proud, happy and overawed all at the same time. I am humbled that I have achieved such beauty. I had no idea that owning a home could be so rewarding emotionally not just for me but for my children. I love the fact that I can relax and do what I like in my home whenever I want. There is freedom in debt. Of course there is another downside to owning a home apart from the financial constraints and that is the work required to make it aesthetically appealing.

Obviously being a new house there is much work to be done. The first thing to settling down is to unpack your boxes of 'stuff'. Slowly I have sifted through my boxes of stored goodies that have not seen the light of day over the past 4 years and have come to the realisation that I don't need any of it. In fact I have thrown most of it away. I have kept a couple of items that carry sentimental value however the rest has gone. This purging of material objects with little meaning has become quite insightful and it has me thinking about the way in which we as human beings seem to think we need to acquire 'things'. We don't need the majority of 'things' that we collect and today I went through the last box that needed purging because brotherboy was doing a tip run and I did not want to miss the trailer. I have to say it felt good. In fact I feel extremely happy. My happiness is not because I purged the box of 'stuff' but because in this last box I unearthed a long lost treasure.

About 8 years ago I purchased a book of poetry and short stories titled 'The Business of Fancy Dancing' written by Sherman Alexie. I thought I had lost this book that I love and I was contemplating ordering another copy when it did not appear in any of the book boxes that I had previously unpacked. I purchased this book online because I could not get a copy here in Australia. Alexie is an American Indian and writes the funniest stories about life on the reservation. Alexie also highlights what it is that he views as important in life. I love his work and it always makes me smile when I read it. Unearthing this book and releasing 'The Business of Fancy Dancing' into my home has given me joy. I know its weird but I have been reading poetry from this book all day today and it is resounding off the walls of this house and into the ears of my children despite the fact that they are not in the same room as me as I recite. It feels good to let this go, to feel such emotion from words that express the journey of life. Words that remind me of what life is really about. This is important to me because living in this beautiful home means that I could easily forget the real things in life and get caught up in material gain.

'The Business of Fancy Dancing' made me realise that I don't need a whole lot of 'stuff'. What I do need is nourishment for the soul and I hope that I will not forget this as I experience the pride and joy of owning a home.

So in this beautiful house which by the way is limited in the furniture department because I have so much space in here that I do not want to fill it up and lose the space that we have, I am being reminded to remain humble and accept the gifts of the universe with gratitude. 

In saying that I would like to share with you one of my favourite Alexie poems:

Indian Boy Love Song (#1)

Everyone I have lost

in the closing of a door

the click of the lock

is not forgotten, they

do not die but remain

within the soft edges

of the earth, the ash

of house fires and cancer

in sin and forgiveness

huddled under old blankets

dreaming their way into my hands, my heart

closing tight like fists

By: Sherman Alexie

Life is good!

Life and Art

Check this little guy out, he is so beautiful. My fabulous children and I took the dogs for a walk into the  scarp. There is a wicked little trail in the hills close to where I live, where you can enjoy nature at its best, and when you turn around you get a beautiful view of the city. The most interesting part though was watching my children enjoy this little guy.

Here he is climbing on my sons jeans. And my son was so happy that this little guy took a liking to him that he said 'can we take him home'. Of course this got an instant 'no' from his mother and a lecture on the importance of leaving nature as it is. And yes he did put him back under the rock in which he unearthed him.

As you can see this little guy is small but super cute. He became more interesting to my children when I said 'check out the artwork on this little fella'. All three of my children were amazed and it suddenly dawned on them where Aboriginal Art originates from. It was so nice to watch the smile on their faces as they checked out the 'artwork' with lots of 'oohs and aahs' and one 'oh so thats how it's done'. 

Sometimes it only takes a few words and a visual image for something to make sense. 

Enjoy.

Life is good...!

Its Too Expensive

I have recently had some interesting events happen at work not to mention some extremely interesting conversations over lunch with some of my fabulous colleagues. The most recent spate of conversation has been around a couple of things that interest. Firstly the things we take for granted. At one of our work events I was engaged in a interesting conversation about energy and how we as human being take the energy that we use for granted. In fact it occurred to me that until I began working at Horizon Power I had not put a lot of thought into the energy that we use other than to turn the lights off because I would like to reduce the cost of my electricity bill. However since working at HP my thoughts are turning towards other forms of energy like sustainable energy, wind, turbine and solar energy. When you think about the environment that we inhabit here in WA there are areas of the state that would benefit greatly from any of these types of energy sources whilst keeping costs down for energy users. However when i mention this to whomever wants to listen I seem to get the same response 'it's too expensive'. This comment has baffled me a little because I am still trying to figure out which part is too expensive. Is it too expensive for the initial installation of sustainable energy sources? Is it to expensive to run? Is it too expensive in terms of the cost of materials? Is it too expensive to build? 

All of these questions enter my over active brain and when I ask for clarity I get the same answer 'its too expensive'. 'Yes' I say but which part is 'too expensive'? I understand the response what I don't understand is that when I ask for clarity nobody seems to be able to respond adequately. This leads me to the conclusion that nobody really wants to answer the question.

My thoughts (and they are totally random uneducated thoughts about sustainable energy which I know nothing about other than the basics), is that nobody can clarify the answer because the truth is it may be expensive in the short term; in the long term it is probably going to put a lot of people out of work if we build sustainable power stations. Realistically energy resource centres could be run electronically using natural resources to harness the energy needed to power entire towns, cities etc. I think if we where truly engaged in the process of sustainable energy as a future building block to reduce carbon emissions we could have done so by now. We have the science and the technology to produce sustainable energy resource centres.

So what's stopping us 'ITS TOO EXPENSIVE'.

Secondly, I had a stimulating conversation about water and the use of water and the effects on our environment and about the lack of drinking water in WA. To add to that concern is a thought that has been floating around in the back of my mind and that is that we are not experiencing enough rainfall this winter? One of the interesting things that came out of my conversations with my colleagues is that the Boab tree which grows so beautifully in the Kimberley is a natural water storage container. Therefore you would think that Boab trees are registered as a protected plant species. Well I would have thought that our lack of water would have given someone the idea that a Boab tree should be registered purely as a water vessel. But alas no, you guessed it our Boab tree is not registered as a protected plant species. Why you ask? I don't really know the answer to that but I will take a stab int he dark and suggest that it probably has something to do with the abundance of the plant. For a plant to be protected it needs to be close to being extinct. My theory is that the Boab only grows in the Kimberley and I am not sure if it grows in the NT, however if it does it is still rare because it is only growing in certain areas, although it is abundant in those areas. Despite that it should still be protected not because of the abundance issue but more so because Boab trees do store drinking water. The natural water bottle so to speak.  

Of course the other reason may be that 'ITS TOO EXPENSIVE'.

Who would have thought...lol!

Life is good....!