Original Thought

The past two days have been extremely gratifying and reminds me why I chose to work within a University. I have just spent the past couple of days with brilliant people whose thoughts are changing the way in which they perceive the world and how those thoughts impact on the discourse of their chosen careers. It was an amazing learning process for me and I feel totally privileged to be invited to such a mind altering workshop. And mind altering it was. The participants of this workshop were from universities around the world, some were distinguished professors of UWA, and all are fully aware of the impact of the public domain and the attribution of the evolution of dissemination into the public domain. Technology is changing the way in which we view the world and with it has brought a host of issues that have direct impact on the discourse of Anthropology and Sociology, and has increased Intellectual Property Law, internationally, to the point where it is growing like a virus as more and more information infiltrates the public domain. 

These scholars workshopped a topic of discussion in the most incredibly polite way, even agreeing to disagree, and not actually resolving anything, yet leaving the discussion topic open for expanding thought. It was like assisting one to broaden the thinking and encourage the continuation of this process extensively once back in their own environment. It was incredible. 

Today I discovered what being an academic is really about. Today I discovered original thought. This discovery has led me to the possibility that my thesis process may be a little malnourished and that I need to re-evaluate. 

Over the past couple of days I sat in on a discussion that was not based on criticising theories, but on critiquing theories and expanding the thought process of those theories. It was incredibly enlightening.

Today I came to the conclusion that my thought process has been localised, therefore limited. This awareness came to me at the end of the two day workshop and it has altered the way in which I have decided to go about researching my PHD. Participating in this workshop has altered my perception. I feel honoured and privileged to engage in such a wonderful thing commonly know as a think tank yet in academic terms is called a workshop on a discussion topic. And discuss we did. Everyone was encouraged to offer up their thoughts. No thought process was ridiculed and all thought processes were analysed and critiqued to identify the positive aspects of that thought process where possible. It was incredibly inspirational and I am feeling humbled to have been a participant in such a wonderful way in which to create practical changes for Indigenous cultures around the world in such a positive forum.

I am overwhelmed and a little lost for words.

Life is good.

Spirituality

Changing the world is endless, it never stops. Recently I read Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. My best friend gave me this book for christmas because she thought that I needed it. To be honest the book did not really tell me anything I don't already know. What it did do was remind me how lazy I had gotten in terms of taking care of my own spirituality. I used to meditate regularly and tune in to the universe every day, connect with country and recharge, but I find that the life of an academic is time consuming and I do not always have time to take care of myself physically or spiritually. (of course this is changing now that I have identified it)

It is interesting that this woman felt that she had to leave her old life and go to foreign countries to find her spirituality. After reading this book I am so glad that I am Indigenous. I mean I do not feel the urge to go to another country and learn the spirituality of another culture and derive the parts that appeal to me and go home and practice my new found spirituality whilst being disconnected from my own environment. It still baffles me the way in which westerners do this. Time and time again I run into non-Indigenous people who are lost spiritually and are searching for 'something' but they do not know what it is they are looking for. It is at this point that I would like to say that I believe these people are lost because they are looking in the wrong place. 

Christians say that God is in everything and is everywhere. Indigenous Australians believe that we are all one, that nature and human beings are one, that we are nature therefore we are connected physically, emotionally and spiritually. This means we must take care of country because then country takes care of us and holistically it means we are actually taking care of ourselves. So when Christians say that God is everywhere and you connect this message with the holistic spirituality of Indigenous Australians than it makes sense to conclude that finding God or finding yourself comes from within. Within includes your own environment. It includes nature. It includes everything that exists within your life and it includes within your own mind, body and soul. 

But sometimes like me we get too busy or pre-occupied with external influences and we forget to take care of ourselves. Yes we go to the gym, we change our diets, we exercise our brains and we nurture our bodies. We do not nurture our souls? When do we take time to acknowledge and listen to what is within? For it is this inner experience and knowledge that guides us on our journey of life. It is the wisdom of intuition, of faith, of love, of compassion. And sometimes when it rises and we are too busy to listen, or we do not like what we are hearing or feeling we squash it and bury it behind the filing system in our brain, the rationale. It is from within that we are required to nurture and provide sustenance for our spiritual health. For when we nurture from within then and only then do we connect with our spirituality.

Now having said this does not mean we go around talking to ourselves (although I have been know to do this...lol) what it does mean is that when we tune into the universe and we listen intently to that which is within we begin to have an understanding of our own spirituality. We begin to see beyond the ephemeral. We begin to experience what it means to be spiritual. It is not something that I feel I can describe adequately. My only suggestion is that you begin to move into this unchartered world of your own destiny. And yes it can be frightening, but if you explore what is within you just may find that your journey will be one worth the energy of finding your self.

Spirituality is a journey of self discovery and this means that if you have to go to a foreign country then I guess that is what you must do, but what happens when you return to your own environment that you are so disconnected from? Do you maintain the power of your newfound spirituality on the home front? 

As I said earlier I am so glad that I am Indigenous for I know who I am and where I come from. I know where I belong and I have total faith in my spirituality because some things should not be questioned, and cannot be explained, some things just are. 

Live a little, I dare you to explore what is within and feel the power of life.

Life is good.

Divorce

DIVORCE hit me the other day when I received a phone call from my ex husband letting me know that he is going to apply for a divorce this year. I was floored. We have been separated for three years now so you would think that I was ready for this. Interestingly it was a bit of a shock. My reaction to his statement was unusual for me. I mean I was the one who left the marriage, I was the one who initiated the separation and encouraged my ex to find a new life. I was the one who wore all the 'it's all mums fault' from my children and I was the one who has patiently and sometimes impatiently worn the anger of my family. I knew this day would come so why am I reacting as though I am in shock?

Divorce is an interesting word. I mean what exactly does that mean? My interpretation is that I am no longer legally bound to my ex. What I thought it didn't mean was that I would no longer be emotionally tied to my ex. How wrong I was. My ex is always going to be in my life because we have 4 beautiful children together whom we have agreed to co-parent despite the fact that we are no longer together. However I have come to realise that when my ex asked me for a divorce he actually severed the emotional bond between us. I felt the cut of the scissors as the question reverberated through my brain. It was a moving moment. Quite powerful really.

When I told my mother what he had asked, her response was 'how do you feel about that?' My mother is so insightful. At the time I did not have an answer for her. I felt strange. I felt alone. I felt disconnected from the moment. I felt like I was watching someone elses life. Is was very weird. Having said that I think I now understand what I was really feeling.

I have had a few days to digest the moment and I believe the feeling I was having was FREEDOM. Yes folks I am finally free emotionally. How interesting is that. Freedom is new to me because I was married for 25 years. Freedom is something that I have not really understood until that moment in time when the word DIVORCE appeared out of nowhere and hit me in the head. It was so unexpected. Totally threw me. For the first time in my life I do not feel obligated to my ex husband at all. Amazing!

My ex and I grew up together. Well actually I grew up, I'm not sure what happened to him. Anyway the point is that we had been together a long time and it is only now that I am totally free that I understand my emotional bondage. The release was instantaneous and it was incredibly enlightening. The feeling is not something that I have felt before so it was difficult to put into words. But I now realise it is the sense of freedom that threw me off balance. And I have to say it feels fantastic. It is an amazing awareness of my inner presence and how much of a burden I had taken on in making sure that he survived our separation and adjust his life accordingly. 


Finally I can dispense with the emotional bondage of my past.

I am free physically and emotionally at long last!

So on that note DIVORCE party coming soon and you are all invited! Woo hoo!!!

Life is good.

Back to Work

As much as I hate to admit it I am happy to be back at work. Today I realised how much my brain needs exercising. I think way to much and when I am on holidays I do not appear to have something to focus on therefore my thoughts wander into unchartered territory. I have delusions of grandeur about how I should change my life and live quietly, but to be perfectly honest I am totally happy having something to focus on that is not a figment of my imagination. You see I have way too much imagination. Now you could say that is a positive characteristic to have, however living in a surreal world is not good for the psyche let alone managing the realities of life.

Surrealism leads one into a faux pas of imaginary doings that enlist the dream state creating a sense of reality causing misadventure. In other words when you think about it 'the grass is not always greener' on the other side. Why I ask do we not appreciate what we have? Why do we as human beings always seek something better? And who said what we have is not good enough? Whose meter are we gauging the scales of life?

All of these thoughts have occurred to me during the course of my first day back to work. Today I realised that what I have is perfectly fine for me. Yes thats the secret; my life is good for me. What is it you want from life? What is it you get out of life? Me, I get a whole world of things from my current position in the tree of life. I like it here. I like the constant urge to learn, grow and adapt to my surroundings. I like thinking, I like exercising my brain and I like discussing my thoughts and ideas with like minded souls. Yes, only at a University would you find such intense thinking, engage in in-depth conversations on all sorts of topics and discuss, not talk down to or be talked at with others. Please correct me if I am wrong, but I am feeling the energy of academia on my first day back. And I love it. I thrive on learning new things. The pace sped up the minute I walked through the door of my office. I thought I would take my time and ease my way back into the daily grind after taking such long shore leave, but whoa and behold I hit the floor running and it took all of 2 seconds to get my brain into gear and away I went. Happily smiling my day away.

Today I experienced the feeling of how much I love my job and how passionate I am in assisting the process of changing the world by manipulating, sorry guiding the minds of our young people...lol Heaven it is and not one student is back at Uni as yet, but my preparation for the year ahead got me thinking how much work is to be done between now and the end of the month in time for enlightening the youth of today with my wisdom, humour and wit, not to mention knowledge and experience. Yes I am happily back at work doing what I do best. Learning, teaching and sharing. And there are others like me. 

Life is good.

Thinking!!!

I've been thinking a lot lately and it amazes me how my brain just starts coming up with a whole lot of things that I think may be better for me. For example I love my job and I love my life, yet when I went on holidays and took the road trip into the Eastern Wheatbelt and then down to Albany I came home feeling like I would really love to live that life. You know the one in the country that is quiet and peaceful, an escape from the rat race. Holidays do that to you, they make you feel like you just want to spend the rest of your life doing nothing but what you want do. Holidays give you ideas like 'take time out', 'don't work so much', 'leave your old life and start a new one'. Why? Because holidays lull you into a false sensation of  'the grass is greener on the other side' mentality. Amazing! It has a way of mellowing one into thoughts of making a run for it while the feeling is still good....lol

You have to laugh because the reality is life requires commitment, no matter where you live. See the holiday feeling gets you caught up in a false sense of reality. Reality is the every day things that you have to do to make life bearable or fun, depends on your outlook. So, since I have returned from my holiday road trip, which I thoroughly loved and will do again without question, I have come to the conclusion that I have a lucky life. And I love my life.

Yes folks, this is the lucky country. Yes I have worked hard, the past 12 months especially has been a big one, yet the rewards have been magnificent and that's the bit that I have to focus on. That's the bit that puts things into perspective. You see, I had lost my focus because I had over loaded on work commitments and had not had enough fun. I had lost sight of what was important and I forgot to play. Life is balance, thats the trick. Work life balance is so important and now that I have identified my energy drain I plan not to do it again.

To add to my list of new years resolutions; cut the dead wood in my life both work and play and create some positive balance. No more running myself ragged. Time to move through life with a scale that sits evenly on the deck so that I can enjoy what I love. I mean what is the point of working yourself to the point where you have no energy left to enjoy what you love. This year I am creating a strategic plan for the year that will give me a work life balance that fits in with my lifestyle and I am going to enjoy every minute of it. Because for the moment I do have commitments and I do need to fulfil those commitments. 

From now on when I look at my holiday snaps I will remember this feeling of relaxation and I will capture this feeling of life that makes me feel like I am in the slow lane and not the fast lane and I will take a breath and give thanks for this life that I am blessed with.

However, when I retire I'm moving to the country....lol