I am on holidays and this last couple of days have been the first where I have actually stayed home to do what I want to do. I mean it is amazing how your holidays are taken up with things that appear to be out of your control. Not that I am complaining. I love my family and my friends. It is just really nice to be able to do things for myself. To have some time for me to do nothing.
Over the past two or three days, I forget which, I finished a novel, and began a new one. I have laid around watching a couple of movies and let my self totally relax. I have watered my rose bushes and my two loyal pot plants. I have stayed off my computer and I have sifted through all of the useless information in my head and filed it away for future reference. In fact my head is starting to feel some clarity. Acknowledging that I am having a little clarity is also refreshing because it is beginning to let me feel a spark of ignition. Meaning I am beginning to feel like I want to fill the vacuum that I have just created with new and exciting information (will I never learn...lol).
Rest is an amazing tool in healing the body, mind and the soul. And it is incredible how little rest we actually participate in until you take those couple of days to really do nothing except lay around. I have thoroughly loved every minute of my slovenliness.
However, I am now bored. Yes laugh you will. Two or three, whole days of nothing and I am already bored. Is there something wrong with me? I ask myself this because I had an extremely busy year, so much so that I got on a plane to the UK exhausted resulting in sickness (do I not heed this warning). Self inflicted I am sure because I never know when to say no or when to just stop and take a breath. Holidays have the potential to force you to take a breath, I mean you have no choice. For example you have no work to do literally except house work, which bores me to death and doesn't really take that long when there are two adults in the house both of whom pick up after themselves. The beast is away with her dad therefore we are extremely tidy. Amazing how much mess one teenager makes now that I think about it. And you can tell that I am bored because I think this blog is a little incoherent and not flowing freely, a good example of how my brain is feeling very slovenly as well as my body.
I am happy to be on holidays and I am enjoying my down time. I love not having to be somewhere and I especially love to get up when I feel the need rather than because I have to, however I hate not having lots of things to do. Maybe I need to get motivated and write those two essays that are due at the end of February...lol or not? I am so unmotivated at the moment I probably won't. I will finish my second novel though as I am thoroughly enjoying it, AND tomorrow morning I am off for a paddle somewhere on a river before the sun rises. I shall enjoy the peace and quiet and wander over the amazing sunrise that nature has to offer. I then plan to return home to my clean and tidy space for a well earned shower and a sleep, and to wake when I am ready and not to the sound of an alarm or the anxiety of getting to work on time. I plan to enjoy what is left of my break doing what I want to do.
I only hope I can get over the guilt of not feeling motivated, if only for a short while....lol
Life is good!
It is absolutely fine to do nothing. It feels weird, but eventually you will spontaneously want to do something. We rarely leave ourselves the space for that process to unfold. I reckon if you rest up now you will be much more efficient when you actually get back into the madness! I take my cue from my toy poodles - when nothing is happening, do nothing and rest. When something IS happening, get VERY excited :)
ReplyDeleteGood advice my friend and that is the plan. I still have two more weeks to go before returning to mayhem, but I plan to do nothing.
ReplyDeleteIt is the guilt of being unmotivated that bit I want to get over so that I can get excited about doing nothing!...lol
Yeah, I get that too. The guilt thing. It's ingrained in us - I think it's called a 'work ethic' lol :)
ReplyDeleteI know its really annoying....lol I think our generation got it bad because it was installed in us from birth en-mass. Sort of brain washed I reckon.
ReplyDeleteThe latest generation have no problem with working and doing it differently. There is a lesson to be learned from them you know. I like the way they work. They don't feel guilty because they move from job to job happily and consider it to be professional development and you know it is. Which also means they know how to relax as well. Could go on but you get my drift...
I am working on changing my thinking...reckon I need to so that I can learn to relax happily.